Listening To The Pain
by Viv N -ChildishGrin
Summary: By request. Grace stumbles on someone reflecting about his relationship with a person who he thinks hate him. [Oneshot, Companion: Talking About the Pain]


N/A: ALLO!!! I'm back with my second o&a fic. I still don't want to believe that last Monday was the last episode of Once & Again. So, to those of you who wants the show to go on… SEND E-MAIL TO ABC!!!! GO TO WWW.SAVEOANDA.COM!!! GO TO THE ABC STUDIO OR WHATEVER IF YOU KNOW WHERE IT IS!!!! 

^_^' errr… I'll leave you there.

BTW, this is the second version of  _Talking about the Pain_.

~Listening To The Pain~

(Grace's POV)

It hurt.

It hurt to avoid him.

A few weeks ago. It was a few weeks ago that had lost her trust in him. She still wasn't over it. He didn't show up at her play even though he had promised her.

She sighed and walked towards the back door and to the garage. The dinner was ready and since Eli was home tonight, Lily had asked her to go get Eli.

She noticed that the door was slightly ajar and was going to push it open when she heard someone talking . Almost instantly, she recognized the voice.

"I don't even deserve to be in the same house than her."

She paused, curious, and leaned against the wall and listened intently.

"When she speaks to me, she does it placidly… with a hint of coldness that no one else seem to notice…"

She saw him banging his fist on the floor through the opening and casting his guitar aside, practically throwing it on the ground.

She listened to him rambling on and on about the after-play party. About how it felt when she pushed him away and left him there, what she seemed like to his eyes that night. And then she froze.

"She was beautiful."

She heard him describe her as if she was an angel. A crying, hurt angel. An angel who had lost her wings because of someone. Him.

Tears threatened to spill as he spoke about the pain that had also hit him when he had seen her eyes, so deep they were. She looked at him, noticing that he wanted to cry too through her blurry gaze.

"I was an idiot… I know I was stupid… a jerk, a jackass, an asshole, a… a… a failure."

Her eyes widened. Did he feel that guilty? He never seemed to care about anything… so why did he suddenly care about her? She wasn't his sister, mother, father and even less his girlfriend. Her face turned into a frown at that thought.

She heard him then going on about how he felt about August. She never knew that he despised her teacher that much. Or even that he hated the man.

The anger that was fuelled in him when he heard about her "affair" with Mr. Dimitri. The difficulty of hiding it to her. The need to beat the crap out of the older man or whoever started the rumor. The relief when her teacher was suspended.

He was silent for a minute or so he spoke again.

"I'm a nobody…"

He had desperately tried talking to her whenever he saw her. And she always managed to slip away. In reality, she simply thought that he had forgot about his broken promises.  

He talked about when he set next to her during Zoe's birthday party and how she would still ignore him. He was sure she didn't want him around.

That wasn't true.

It was when he was not around but probably hanging out or messing around with his friends and having fun that it hurt the most. In fact, it hurt both to be too close and too far to him.

She listened to him continuing about a special connection he felt they had before he let her down. A connection she had also felt. And that she knew a part of the reason why it was there.

Her attention suddenly came back fully concentrated on his every word.

"I was so jealous of any guys that were interested in her. I was so protective of her.

I would suddenly change around her, both in a good and bad way. My mind goes blank when I see her, I would barely be able to talk whenever she looked at me with worry. Yet I can't help smiling when she smiles. She supported me in my hardest times, she challenged me, she believed in me… and made a better person…

But now I'm nothing more than a wreck. Without her, I'm lost."

She wanted to fling the door open and tell him that it wasn't true. But she froze once more right when she laid her hand on the door.

"When I see her, I just want to hold her, touch her, seek her out…

And sometimes…

I want to kiss her."

He felt silent as the corners of her mouth turned up slightly and she held her breath.

"It can't be!"

She jumped slightly when the tone of his voice abruptly rose.

"She's my stepsister for crying out loud! I can't like her like… like that!"

She shut her eyes tightly, biting her lips. The pain was back again, this time at full charge.

"I don't like her." He seemed perfectly sure of his affirmation.

She wanted to cry again. Holding back a sob, she peeked her head into the room. She didn't want to hear anything more.

But when she laid eyes on him, she just choked. He looked so helpless, sitting there on the floor, his back against his bed, his head in his hands, tears spilling from his brown eyes. Tears of grief.

He was suffering.

But there was also something else. He seemed a bit more at peace, as if he had finally understood something that took him so long to even notice.

She saw his lips move a few times before words finally escaped them.

"I love you Grace Manning..."

And happiness coursed through her vein. She managed to utter a reply.

"No you're not."

He bolted from where he was. He had finally acknowledged her presence. He blinked a few time.

"You're not an idiot… you're not stupid. You're not a jerk, a wreck, a nobody and even less a failure…"

Eli stood there, gaping at her.

"But you got the jackass and asshole part right." She smiled, walking up to him. She was floating.

She reached up and brushed away the remaining tears on his face.

"All this time… and I thought you were only to be the good overprotective big brother. Or stepbrother."

She noticed the young man before her reddening slightly and his eyes widened in horror.

"You… you heard everything? I was talking out loud?"

A soft smile appeared on her face and she shrugged. And she was suddenly mesmerized by his lips. The urge to reach out and…

"I'm sor-"

Her hand found its way to the back of Eli's neck, pulling him to her and pressing her lips to his. Soft. Warm. 

Everything she thought it would have been. And so much more.  

His arms slipped around her and pulled her closer.

They soon broke apart, gasping for air and taking in each others' breath.

She started giggling.

"Came to tell ya dinner was ready."

She willed herself to turn around and walked back towards the door. She then looked back at him and saw him standing still, a blissful look in his eyes.

She laughed and he snapped out of his trance.

"You coming or not?"

He grinned, the first real smile since weeks now, and in a few steps had her trapped in his arms before sweeping her into another kiss.

She blushed when he pulled away and a spark appeared in his eyes.

"I got a new job." He stated.

"And I love you Eli Sammler." She replied.

She felt it was the most natural thing to say. The only thing she could say.

She went back to the dining room and he followed close behind. She was positively glowing, joy etched upon her face.

She forgave him. And he had forgiven himself.

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So… what didja think??? Good? Or not bad? I need feedback, reviews, comments, constructive criticism…!!!!!!!!!!!!

Peace!

-_ViNguyen_

April 2002 (written on the 13)


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